Poetic Champions Compose

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Wednesday, July 28, 2004
  The Amazing Ass Race
Here we go. My thoughts on last night's episode of The Amazing Race 5:

We all know my favorite team is Charla and Mirna. They kick some major patoot. But, man, I was a little nervous at the beginning of last night's show when they dropped the ball getting their plane tickets. True to form, though, they have "step in poop" good luck; they ended up getting on a flight where there was a cancellation, AND on their connecting flight, they eventually met up with all the other teams who left before them! Also, I am tired of everyone else referring to them as "Mirna and Schmirna." What the hell is that? Two complaints, though, about my favorite team. One is that I would like to see Mirna stop telling Charla to "hurry" when they are running places--can't she see her little legs going as fast as they can? Secondly, could Mirna PLEASE stop making Charla do all the tough roadblocks?!? Sheesh...

Also, the Little Big Woman, Charla, did not disappoint, once again, providing several good quotes. My two faves:

Charla: (while preparing for the “block 5 shots” task) I am soooo glad we aren’t drinking vodka, Mirna! (Ouch! Was that sarcasm, Charla?)

Charla: (while putting on the hockey gear for the “block 5 shots” task) Mirna! My ass is too big for the pants!

I am now going to keep a running tally in my right-hand sidebar of the number of times Charla says “ass” on this show. Last week was the cow’s ass, this week, her own ass. This is great!

And speaking of ass...I laughed my ass off at the caviar eating task. I have never seen so many people have such a violent reaction to eating caviar. Yes, it was 2 pounds of caviar, but man, they should have all followed Chip's lead and just shoveled it in, and washed it down with the water and juice and crackers and all that other crap they had there. Didn't any of them watch last season's Amazing Race 4? Did they learn nothing from Reichen and Chip's "live octopus shooters?" *sigh* Amateurs.

Also, I was sad to see Bob and Joyce (the internet dating couple) depart--especially when the Fat Pizza Douche Bags remain. The ending brought a tear to my eye last night. Bob and Joyce are so cute, and seem like such genuinely sweet folks.

As far as next week's preview scenes go, I am VERY nervous that the Bowling Moms will suffer a major setback with an injury and be eliminated. I can only hope that the Fat Pizza Douche Bag blows a knee or two...

 
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