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Tuesday, November 18, 2003
IN HONOR OF OUR IMPENDING THANKSGIVING...
| I shall first say that I am ecstatic that at least one Supreme Court somewhere in this country has finally come to its senses. For that, I am thankful.
Secondly, as Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching, let me tell one of the FUNNIEST turkey-related stories I have ever heard. Important Pre-Story Fact: My bestest friend in the whole world, The Suz, has gone through a wonderful transformation over the course of the last year and a half, in the fact that she has lost over 70 pounds. Her whole new attitude towards life and food plays a crucial part in this story. So, it was a few weeks ago when The Suz says to me, "Did I tell you what happened to me today on my way home from work?" Of course, I replied that she had not. What is about to follow is her story. The Suz had had an extra long day at work, and so, had not gotten an opportunity to eat the homemade turkey burger that her kind mother had made for her to accomodate her new ways of eating healthy, which she had packed in her lunch that day. So, being the starved skinny girl that she is, she was eating her burger on her drive home in the car. All was well as she happily chomped away on the burger. That is until... ...she suddenly bit into something HARD in the burger. Like, really hard. After almost driving off the road because of the surprise, she spit the offending "bit" into the palm of her hand for further inspection. Small in size, and covered in turkey, she was unable to make an identification while driving. Pulling off at a gas station, she cleaned off the "bit" to find that it had a metallic appearance, and resembled, as she described it, a bullet. A bullet! [Note: It was at this point in the story that I almost peed my pants.] She then went on to explain that of course, upon seeing this "bullet" in her turkey burger, she immediately began to have wild scenarios of how the bullet had found its way into her ground turkey running through her mind. Certainly, the first thought that anyone would have is the same one that she had: that someone at the turkey plant had committed some sort of heinous crime and was attempting to hide evidence in the ground turkey products. *head slap* [Note: By this point I think I HAD peed my pants laughing.] She took the "bullet" and sealed it in the Ziploc bag that she had carried her lunch in, in an attempt to "preserve the evidence." She quickly drove the rest of the way home to find her mother who had made the turkey burgers to begin with. She related the story to her mother, who, in between fits of hysterical laughter, said, "I think I may know what it is! Let me see it..." [Note: I think this is where her mom peed in her pants.] Her mother returned from the kitchen carrying the pepper mill. The top of the pepper mill that screws on to the handle that turns to grind the pepper had been missing for months. It is small, silver, and shaped like a bullet. Apparently, in her vigorous grinding of pepper into the turkey meat while preparing the burgers, she became a bit over-zealous, to the point of the top of the pepper mill popping right off and falling into the burger meat, unnoticed. The burgers were placed into the freezer for future consumption. And so, there it remained, frozen in time--and in meat--just waiting to be found one day, with one swift bite on the Pricetown Road. Happy Early Turkey Day, everyone. ¶ Ξ PDawg Composed at 10:50:00 PM |
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